into so much pain

i’ve prepared everything for the much awaited holy week trip. ordered tulips and fruits. made sure that the baguio rest house is okay. everything’s ready except……her

i was actually waiting for her sms…she told me she has a shoot today so we will leave after her shoot…..then i got a call from my bestfriend…telling me that she made a blog…and seems like she’s not going to baguio….i tried not to believe it…but i already felt the pain growing within…i sent her sms.. and made myself sound as if i knew nothing….and then she dropped the bomb…

going 2 pagudpud! home by sat nyt! hope ul mit me sunday!”

i think the world went black at that moment. felt a very heavy feeling. then i replied….

“thot we are going to baguio”

as expected, she put the blame on me..telling me i didnt confirm it..that i didnt do this and that….bullsh?t….

i cant believe this is happening….i remembered i even asked her if she has plans for the holy week and she said none…i asked her if we could be together on holy week and she said yes….she even chose the place…baguio…so…she’s telling me…it was my fault! f?ck!

she told me she’s in pain…really…..and then asked me…when will i ease our pain? i wanted to tell her….its in your hands now…you chose not to be with me…we could’ve ease each other’s pains…only if you have chosen to get off that vehicle and go with me to baguio….but you didnt….but i chose not to send her the sms….it wont make her change her mind…it will just add up to my pains.

i feel so alone now. i dont want to think that she’s getting even…that this is intentional…that she lied…that she is  very happy because i’m hurting….that she really dont want to be with me..and this were all bullshits!

i want to be with her…i’ve longed for this moment….holy week is such a memorable feast for me ….a year ago…on black saturday….she told me she loves me….we became “BEBE’s” and i think it would’ve been wonderful if we’ve fixed things and start from where we’ve really started before…i’ve been dying to hold her….tell her how much i missed her…to be with her from wednesday to sunday….to share the bittercold….

i wish i’m dead right now…i wish this pain could kill…i’m into so much pain..this is more painful that the pains i had before

bebe, why are you doing this? my heart…i dont know if its still beating…you could have told me you’ve changed your plans….i will understand…you should have told me…you should’ve told me….i just want to be with you….be with you…but i guess…you dont really want to be with me…

i dont think….the pain would go away this time…this is too much…already.

i love you…but the pain is stronger…..

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2 Tugon so far »

  1. 1

    yeena said,

    my GOd! how could she do that to you! grabe talaga yang ex mo. dont let her hurt you more. move on lex. she’s not worth it. nakaka-high blood talaga ang babaeng yan.someday someone will teach her a lesson.take care.

  2. 2

    mita said,

    so cruel naman.hope ur ok na.


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