moving out of the “phase”

I hope you’ll die and leave me alone. don’t need you in my life. fuckin asshole”

i was speechless, shocked and hurt when i got that sms. i had to checked the number twice to make sure that its really from her. i can’t believe she can say those things to me.

she became “civil” again after that sms until….the last phone conversation…where more hurting words were said…”i don’t need you in my life. i’m so over you. you are evil. stop texting me, stop calling me, don’t bother me, ang tagal mo namang mamatay, wala na, closed na, no more chance, hindi na ako naawa sa iyo, kahit mamatay ka pa ngayon wala na akong pakialam, masama kang tao, blah, blah”.

so that’s it. the sign that i’ve been waiting for.

it hurts really bad coz i still love her so much. there’s anger—–because of the false hopes and expectations. when she broke up with me, i was so ready to move on, but she sent me sms, called me, cried over the phone, gave me a second chance when i didnt even ask for it…oh well, she said i blew it…the second chance…that’s not new..its always me..the wrong one…always at fault. now its clear, the phone calls, the second chance, the fixing things….all bullshit!

i admit–i screwed up, i gave her pains, i contributed a lot of her stress, i lied to cover up unfounded fears–and i’m so sorry. i just hope she’ll also find it in her heart to somehow say “sorry” for all the pains that she has given me. i want to tell her: “di lang ikaw ang nasira ang buhay, ako rin, pero good for you, coz you got your life back, pero ako, i’m still trying to pick up the pieces”.

she told me she has forgiven me. thanks for that. she told me she’s happy now. glad to her that. good for her.

i know in God’s time..He will take this pain away and i’ll be happy again. i’m now in the process of giving myself back the respect which i threw away when the “phase” dragged for so long. and i have to admit, it got me really really tired.

now i can begin to move out of this “phase”…thank GOD


6 Tugon so far »

  1. 1

    gyps said,

    dapat lang pare. move on na. may mas better pa sa kanya na darating sa buhay mo.

  2. 2

    belle said,

    you deserve to be happy. move forward and never look back. you’ll find the right one i’m sure of that, the one that you really deserve. mwah!

  3. 3

    Manilagurl said,

    have you really moved out? move out! someome else is more deserving than her who can wish you to die. wut could be more terrible than her. 😉

  4. 4

    armie said,

    yah move on lex.imagine kung mag-e-expect ka pa rin, can you live your life with someone whose wish is your death? you’ll find the right one, don’t despair. i’m sure God will give you someone far more better than her.

  5. 5

    george said,

    grabe pre. kung ganyan ang gf mo, magpasalamat ka at wala na kayo. ang sama ng dila. inuumbag dapat yang mga ganyan para magising at matauhan.

  6. 6

    yeena said,

    grabe talaga yang ex mo as in. thank God at wala na kayo. glad that you are moving on na. sana di ka na madistract ha. focus focus alexandro.

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