Archive for Hunyo, 2007

yehey

bea is in PBB’s big four!!! yahoo!!! 🙂

pbbseason2big4.jpg

(note: please DON’T WASTE your vote on Wendy!)

Comments (3) »

one day in your life

One day in your life
you’ll remember a place
Someone’s touching your face
You’ll come back and you’ll look around you

One day in your life
You’ll remember the love you found here
You’ll remember me somehow
Though you don’t need me now
I will stay in your heart
And when things fall apart
You’ll remember one day…

One day in your life
When you find that you’re always waiting
For the love we used to share
Just call my name
And I’ll be there

You’ll remember me somehow
Though you don’t need me now
I will stay in your heart
And when things fall apart
You’ll remember one day…

One day in your life
When you find that you’re always longing
for the love we used to share
Just call my name
And I’ll be there

                       one day in your life/michael jackson

Comments (1) »

going home…

..soon

972005golden_gate_bridge-s.jpg

Comments (2) »

in my sleep…

.. ….i have happy thoughts; i see myself smiling; pain disappears in thin air; i see a beautiful world unfolding before me; i see myself holding her hand as we fly together; in my sleep…she’s mine….forever

whitesleep.jpg

Comments (3) »

never too far

You’re with me
Til the bitter end
What we had transcends
This experience
Too painful to
Talk about
So I’ll hold it in
Til my heart can mend
And be brave enough to love again

A place in time
Still belongs to us
Stays preserved in my mind
In the memories there is solace

Never too far away
I won’t let time erase
One bit of yesterday
Cause I have learned that
Nobody can take your place
Though we can never be
I’ll keep you close to me
When I remember

Glittering lights
Incandescent eyes
Still preserved
In my mind
In the memories I’ll find solace

Never too far away
I won’t let time erase
One bit of yesterday
And I have learned that
Nobody can take your place
Though we can never be
I’ll keep you close to me
And I’ll remember

A place in time
Still belongs to us
Stays preserved in my mind
In the memories there is solace

Never too far away
I won’t let time erase
One bit of yesterday
Cause I have learned that
Nobody can take your place
And though we can never be
I’ll think of you and me
Always remember

Love

You’re never too far

                              never too far/mariah carey

Comments (1) »

happy birthday son

(this entry was first published at my friendster blog, january 2006)

Dear Jay: My son, my first born..how can i forget that day when your mother came to me, shoving right into my face a test strip, “sh*t ka lex, buntis ako”…from that moment i knew my life will never be the same again…i panicked..and was really confused….it brought me sleepless nights…anxieties….lost of appetite..added to that was your mother’s continuous nagging…constantly telling me that she doesn’t want to marry me…that we have to do something fast as she needs to go to Japan for her family’s sake..and that a baby is the least of her priorities..she even blamed me for not “withdrawing” at the proper time…“kasalanan mo to”…as if it is not a consensual act….your mother was 4 months on the way when I finally had the courage to tell your “daddy lolo” about my predicament…he punched me…kicked me..shouted at me…as if i was the worst thing that ever happened to him…i knew i disappointed him…he was expecting a “good son”…just like your Tito Henry…i was hurt..but i understand him..it was my fault..nevertheless, he was the one who initiated the move to talk to your mother’s parents..a deal was made…your mother will never marry me…and that they will not bother me..and my family..as long as we pay all her expenses related to the pregnancy plus expenses for her trip to Japan…your “Daddy Lolo” thought it was a good idea..and told me that I have to pay those expenses on my own… he declared that i will never get any financial help from him…it was a sheer agony as i was earning so little with my work at that time and i don’t have enough resources…thank GOD for people who were very supportive of me…on top of the list was your “Mommy Lola” who regularly visited me at my apartment…easing my burdens with her selfless love and support..helping me financially and spiritually..i sold my second hand semi-dilapidated mitsubishi lancer a month before you were born…i needed money to pay for the delivery…and so it came…at 11:05 in the evening, 25th day of June, you were born via normal delivery at Chinese General Hospital…when i was told the words “Congrats po, It’s a baby boy”..all the pain went away…felt like i was the happiest man in the world at that time…a few hours after that I was asked to go the nursery viewing area..i saw you my dear son…fragile..pinkish..yawning…wearing a blue baby dress…i was crying son…i was so happy…no matter how bad the situation at that time..the circumstances of how you were made and born…became irrelevant at the moment..all that matter at that time was the fact that that I’m now a dad…i’m a father…i have a son.. your mother gave you to us when you were almost 5 months old..she’s leaving for Japan..finally…your “Mommy Lola” became your “mother”..and the rest as they say…was history…i can’t believe how big you are now..i remember when we were shopping for shoes last Christmas and i was shocked to see how big your feet has become..a few years from now you’ll become a teenager..and you will then begin to notice girls….you’ll have peers…and fears…you’ll experience changes in your physical make up..son, i want you to know that daddy loves you so much…everytime i see the world getting worst every day..i would fear for your future…but then I know GOD is in control…and i pray that you may not commit the mistakes that I’ve made in my life..be better than your dad….i know sometimes you feel that i’m loving you less because i spend more time in my work than going home to Bulacan and spending time with you..daddy wants to say sorry…please don’t think that i love you less because the truth is i really love you son…its just that there are things that i have to do so that i can give you a better life…i pray that this year will be a better year for the two of us…and i want to really spend more time with you….

this is a new post:

happy birthday son. i know that what we have right now are not as good as before and i can feel your pain. son, it is easy to say that things happen for reasons but believing it is one thing. i know God has a purpose on why we are in this difficult situation and we may never understand that now, i know in His perfect time we will see His plan.

i pray that He gives you wisdom as you treck along this journey called life. remember that even if i’m not there physically, you are in my heart and that my spirit and my love will always be with you.

you are a very special part of me and i only want the best for you. i’m keeping my promise son, daddy will not give up without a fight.

God bless you son. again, happy birthday!

“Soul of my soul, heart of my heart
The greatest treasure of my life thats what you are
Soul of my soul, child of my heart
I love you more than you know, soul of my soul”

                                soul of my soul/michael bolton

jay.jpg

Comments (2) »

i love this meal

can’t wait for my next bowl 🙂

salad-ni-lex.jpg

great lunch! 🙂

Leave a comment »

sa ngayon…

“Wag ka lang mawawala
kapag nariyan ka ako’y sumisigla
kahit hindi ko pa kaya ang magmahal
sana sa akin ay hindi mag-sasawa”

                     huwag ka lang mawawala/ogie alcasid

 

 

Comments (5) »

no chemo..again

my chemo session scheduled today, june 22, was again postponed and rescheduled on june 29. the same reasons—-low wbc and infection–plus, high level of emotional stress 😦

i had my blood sugar tested this morning and my endocrinologist, dra. fernando, told me that she will recommend a cut on my steroids intake. talk about risk in getting diabetes 😦

i tried using a cane for walking today and its more painful, tiring and difficult. but i made  some progress and i feel that the therapy is really working on me.

my dietician placed me on a strictly fruit and vegetable diet beginning today up to June 28, 2007. goodluck to me 😦

still a work in progress….and i feel great that i am not and will never be out of His grace
 

Comments (1) »

right here waiting

Oceans apart day after day
And I slowly go insane
I hear your voice on the line
But it doesn’t stop the pain

If I see you next to never
How can we say forever

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I took for granted, all the times
That I thought would last somehow
I hear the laughter, I taste the tears
But I can’t get near you now

Oh, can’t you see it baby
You’ve got me goin’ CrAzY

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

I wonder how we can survive
This romance
But in the end if I’m with you
I’ll take the chance

Oh, can’t you see it baby
You’ve got me goin’ cRaZy

Wherever you go
Whatever you do
I will be right here waiting for you
Whatever it takes
Or how my heart breaks
I will be right here waiting for you

Comments (6) »

a peek inside my mobile companion

and so they call this “cellphone survey” and i was tagged to play. so here’s a peek inside my mobile companion:

what is the color of your phone: black

what is the brand name/model of your phone: Xda Atom Exec (pocket pc)

atom-xda.jpg

who’s the first person that comes under the letter “M”? Macel, a cousin

who’s the last person you called? kuya henry in san francisco

 who was your last missed call? a stranger, 0918922xxxx, number not in my phone book, the call came in at around 11:25pm, june 19

who’s the second person that comes up under “D”? Danna, a classmate in college

who’s at speed dial number 2? yei, my sister

who’s the third person that comes up under J? Jack of Honda Cars

who was your last received call? Pia, a good friend who called just to say good night

who’s speed dial number 3? reese, my baby sister

what is your background? i’m not much into downloading themes, i’m just using the default

how many text messages do you have? 145 on my inbox and 56 in my sent folder (i keep the old, memorable, nice messages)

what does the fifth message in your inbox say? “no prob. i understand :)”

who’s the first person under “b”? Bart, my cousin

who sent the last sms for the day and what does it says? from her, it says “ok? panu?”

who’s speed dial number 7? mags, my bestfriend

who’s the 5th person on your missed call list? ching of nestle philippines

what does the 6th message in your sent folder says? “yeah i know and i feel so stupid”

who’s the first name on your phonebook? Aba, my “healthy” cousin 🙂 her real name is theresa, but we call her “aba” which is short for “taba”

who’s the last name in your phonebook? Zia, a cousin

what are your favorite features of your phone? it has a windows mobile 5.0 software, i love the portable infrared keyboard, the built-in wireless LAN, window’s media player 10 with equalizer and the radio

who’s the last name under “G“? Grace, my cousin

who’s the first person under “R“?  Rachelle, a friend from BPI

what is your ringtone? for text: cuppy cake (ha ha ha) for call: wait for you

any plans of selling/trading in your phone? none at this time

what is the last name under “S”? Syanie, a friend

-end of survey-

Comments (1) »

and so i’m back…

..to being a frog, waiting for that princess’ sweet and magical kiss which will eventually turn me into a prince

poster_8280.jpg

Comments (6) »

for my dad

There was a man back in ’95
Whose heart ran out of summers
But before he died, I asked him

Wait, what’s the sense in life
Come over me, Come over me

He said,

Son why you got to sing that tune
Catch a Dylan song or some eclipse of the moon
Let an angel swing and make you swoon
Then you will see… You will see

Then he said,

Here’s a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There’s a reason for the world
You and I…

Picked up my kid from school today

Did you learn anything cause in the world today
You can’t live in a castle far away
Now talk to me, come talk to me

He said,

Dad I’m big but we’re smaller than small
In the scheme of things, well we’re nothing at all
Still every mother’s child sings a lonely song
So play with me, come play with me

And Hey Dad
Here’s a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There’s a reason for the world
You and I…

I said,

Son for all I’ve told you
When you get right down to the
Reason for the world…
Who am I?

There are secrets that we still have left to find
There have been mysteries from the beginning of time
There are answers we’re not wise enough to see

He said… You looking for a clue I Love You free…

The batter swings and the summer flies
As I look into my angel’s eyes
A song plays on while the moon is hiding over me
Something comes over me

I guess we’re big and I guess we’re small
If you think about it man you know we got it all
Cause we’re all we got on this bouncing ball
And I love you free
I love you freely

Here’s a riddle for you
Find the Answer
There’s a reason for the world
You and I…
                             the riddle/five for fighting

happy father’s day daddy! i will never forget what you said to me a few nights ago. you are so right about it. don’t worry dad, i know i can survive this battle. i love you daddy! i’ll see you soon!

happy father’s day to me 🙂 to all my uncles, cousins, friends and all the daddy-readers of this blog.  (i can’t believe i hit the 3,000 plus stat wow!)

Comments (2) »

crossroads

i’m back at the crossroads…can’t believe i’m here again…stuck somewhere in between living and dying….feeling so lost…stuck in the moment.

i just want to make you happy…i want us to be happy

but right now…i don’t know what you want

are we taking the next step or are we at the end of the road?

Comments (3) »

i don’t give a damn

so you want to mess up with me spoiled brat. don’t tell me about your high ranking officer father and your bodyguard and that you always get what you want. don’t call me names, don’t intrude into my personal life, don’t tell me what to do. don’t tell me about your “friendship” motive which is a lie. i know what you want but don’t you dare make a wrong move. and don’t under-estimate her. she’s a tough act and a very smart woman. yes, she’s smarter than you.

am i that bothered? no, not really. in fact this is the first and last time that i’ll be talking about it here. its a waste of my time. and i don’t give a damn on what you will do or say. we–yes, the two of us—both knew the truth about what happened, about our own issues, our own pains, our lives. and it is ours alone.

don’t you dare do something that will hurt her or me or malign our relationship. please go and see a doctor. you need some medical attention. oops.. you are studying to be a doctor right? how ironic.

i’m praying for you. i feel bad for your cracking head. 😦

but please fuck off…..leave us alone!

gray.jpg

Comments (8) »