happy birthday son

(this entry was first published at my friendster blog, january 2006)

Dear Jay: My son, my first born..how can i forget that day when your mother came to me, shoving right into my face a test strip, “sh*t ka lex, buntis ako”…from that moment i knew my life will never be the same again…i panicked..and was really confused….it brought me sleepless nights…anxieties….lost of appetite..added to that was your mother’s continuous nagging…constantly telling me that she doesn’t want to marry me…that we have to do something fast as she needs to go to Japan for her family’s sake..and that a baby is the least of her priorities..she even blamed me for not “withdrawing” at the proper time…“kasalanan mo to”…as if it is not a consensual act….your mother was 4 months on the way when I finally had the courage to tell your “daddy lolo” about my predicament…he punched me…kicked me..shouted at me…as if i was the worst thing that ever happened to him…i knew i disappointed him…he was expecting a “good son”…just like your Tito Henry…i was hurt..but i understand him..it was my fault..nevertheless, he was the one who initiated the move to talk to your mother’s parents..a deal was made…your mother will never marry me…and that they will not bother me..and my family..as long as we pay all her expenses related to the pregnancy plus expenses for her trip to Japan…your “Daddy Lolo” thought it was a good idea..and told me that I have to pay those expenses on my own… he declared that i will never get any financial help from him…it was a sheer agony as i was earning so little with my work at that time and i don’t have enough resources…thank GOD for people who were very supportive of me…on top of the list was your “Mommy Lola” who regularly visited me at my apartment…easing my burdens with her selfless love and support..helping me financially and spiritually..i sold my second hand semi-dilapidated mitsubishi lancer a month before you were born…i needed money to pay for the delivery…and so it came…at 11:05 in the evening, 25th day of June, you were born via normal delivery at Chinese General Hospital…when i was told the words “Congrats po, It’s a baby boy”..all the pain went away…felt like i was the happiest man in the world at that time…a few hours after that I was asked to go the nursery viewing area..i saw you my dear son…fragile..pinkish..yawning…wearing a blue baby dress…i was crying son…i was so happy…no matter how bad the situation at that time..the circumstances of how you were made and born…became irrelevant at the moment..all that matter at that time was the fact that that I’m now a dad…i’m a father…i have a son.. your mother gave you to us when you were almost 5 months old..she’s leaving for Japan..finally…your “Mommy Lola” became your “mother”..and the rest as they say…was history…i can’t believe how big you are now..i remember when we were shopping for shoes last Christmas and i was shocked to see how big your feet has become..a few years from now you’ll become a teenager..and you will then begin to notice girls….you’ll have peers…and fears…you’ll experience changes in your physical make up..son, i want you to know that daddy loves you so much…everytime i see the world getting worst every day..i would fear for your future…but then I know GOD is in control…and i pray that you may not commit the mistakes that I’ve made in my life..be better than your dad….i know sometimes you feel that i’m loving you less because i spend more time in my work than going home to Bulacan and spending time with you..daddy wants to say sorry…please don’t think that i love you less because the truth is i really love you son…its just that there are things that i have to do so that i can give you a better life…i pray that this year will be a better year for the two of us…and i want to really spend more time with you….

this is a new post:

happy birthday son. i know that what we have right now are not as good as before and i can feel your pain. son, it is easy to say that things happen for reasons but believing it is one thing. i know God has a purpose on why we are in this difficult situation and we may never understand that now, i know in His perfect time we will see His plan.

i pray that He gives you wisdom as you treck along this journey called life. remember that even if i’m not there physically, you are in my heart and that my spirit and my love will always be with you.

you are a very special part of me and i only want the best for you. i’m keeping my promise son, daddy will not give up without a fight.

God bless you son. again, happy birthday!

“Soul of my soul, heart of my heart
The greatest treasure of my life thats what you are
Soul of my soul, child of my heart
I love you more than you know, soul of my soul”

                                soul of my soul/michael bolton

jay.jpg

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2 Tugon so far »

  1. 1

    jing said,

    gwapo naman ng anak mo. happy birthday lex junior.

  2. 2

    dr jessica alexis quilao said,

    i know from the very start how lucky your son is for having you as his father. you are one in a million alexandro. i was crying while reading this blog of yours. i know that sometimes we dont think about the consequences of our actions but you are BRAVE enough to stand up tall and face all the trials that life has thrown onto your face. im pretty sure that your children are very proud of you. you are a SURVIVOR! pwede ka bang maging tatay?


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