my choice

yesterday……. i had my contrasted CT scan in the morning (to determine if i have secondary infection causing the recent fever spikes), another round of chemo during the night, was throwing up, had difficulty sleeping and drank almost two liters of water. whew!

and today…….i woke up feeling some aches and pains in my lower back and i threw up twice already. but i definitely feel a lot better and I’m looking forward to an hour session with my psychotherapist. i’ll also have my ECG later and the usual drawing of blood.

the past few days…..my spirit is actually down and weary. i feel very tired. this continued treatment is starting to drain my positive energy. and oftentimes i feel like i’m just going with the flow without that much conviction. yes,  i’m still praying and holding on to my faith but my being human is taking its toll on me.

a while ago i was scanning/reading some passages from the Bible and this verse caught my attention:

“I am now giving you the choice between life and death, between God’s blessings and God’s curse and I call heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Choose Life”

                                                            Deuteronomy 30:19

wow! what a perfect verse for me. all of sudden i felt like a comforting hand has touched my head–giving me enough boost to go on with my treatment.

so here i am with my choice: i choose life. i choose to fight. i choose to go on with this journey. i choose to be a betterman.

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17 Tugon so far »

  1. 1

    etzhel said,

    HB,
    Let your deepest most powerful affections be for Him alone. You sure can still make your life beautiful. Start by chasing dreams & looking @ rainbows. Winking back @ you 😉

  2. 2

    dec said,

    definitely the right choice cuz! love yah! i miss you na talaga promise. take care always.

  3. 3

    Pao-Pao said,

    definitely, choose life. i know it’s really hard, going through lengthy treatments, but just look forward, kapag tapos na ang lahat ng iyan. matagal na rin akong hindi napapadaan dito, hindi ako masyadong nagba-bloghop, but i always include you in my prayers. *hugs*

  4. 4

    pao said,

    definitely, choose life. i know it’s really hard, going through lengthy treatments, but just look forward, kapag tapos na ang lahat ng iyan. matagal na rin akong hindi napapadaan dito, hindi ako masyadong nagba-bloghop, but i always include you in my prayers. *hugs* 🙂

  5. 5

    pao said,

    definitely, choose life. i know it’s really hard, going through lengthy treatments, but just look forward, kapag tapos na ang lahat ng iyan. matagal na rin akong hindi napapadaan dito, hindi ako masyadong nagba-bloghop, but i always include you in my prayers. *hugs* 😀

  6. 6

    sabby said,

    way to go betterman! i miss yah! mwah!

  7. 7

    maxi said,

    Good choice. Hope you feel better now. God Bless!

  8. 9

    pia said,

    i’m so proud of u my tsi! hugs for you! can’t wait for dinner later.

  9. 10

    ella said,

    Dear Lex,
    No matter how hard it is, life is still precious and it’s the only one we’ve got. Despite the trials, feel kong there is this joy in you. I really can’t tell where it’s coming from but it’s there. And it’s enough reason to go on. We’re always hoping for the best, my dear.

  10. 11

    ellieshe said,

    Here he come….”the betterman” …soon..very soon 🙂

  11. 12

    lou said,

    ey kaibigan…keep the fight…rememember, you have made a lot of us to become a “better person”…
    labyu
    lou n family

  12. 13

    ladyracer said,

    don’t give up… keep fighting 🙂

  13. 14

    jude said,

    u made the best choice dude. God bless.

  14. 15

    ponsi, cleo, danna, renee, marjee, anne, karie, nicole, hanzie, nieva, matthew, evia and yrene said,

    we love you cousin kuya lexito! keep on fighting. we are always here for you. God bless. group hug na tayo dali!

  15. 16

    brokenman said,

    etzhel, thanks. wink wink baby!

    dec, sorry cuz ha i missed ur calls. had chemo kasi that day. take care.

    sabby, thanks and God bless

    maxi, feeling a lot better today. God bless you too

    raymond, thanks. God bless

    pia, thanks. u take care. God bless

    ella, thanks. i think the joy comes from knowing na HE will never leave me nor forsake me 🙂 God bless

    ellieshe, you made me smile with that comment. thanks. God bless

    lou, how are you? thanks ha. God bless. regards sa family

    lady racer, i will 🙂 thanks

    jude, thanks bro. God bless

    cousins, thank you guys!! you are making my journey more bearable. God bless. tara, group hug na!! dali hanggang kaya ko pa! 🙂

  16. 17

    johnny said,

    dude, I know you will overcome this as you have done with everything in your life, with good spirit, strength and the support of everybody that knows you and admires you.You are a person that is always willing to help others and everybody likes you so with all the positive thoughts that everybody sends you, you have nothing to do but to get better really soon!

    All my best wishes,

    Johnny

    @johnny, dude how are you? thanks for visiting my blog. God bless —lex


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