Archive for Abril, 2008

My H-line for Healing

After more than a month of being on remission, I went back to the cancer institute for my scheduled consolidation or intensification chemotherapy. The goal of this phase is to destroy any remaining leukemia cells. It was also the start of the preparation for my stem cell transplant tentatively scheduled on July 2008.

First, my Hickman line was reinstalled. It is a silicon tube placed into one of my major blood vessels leading to my heart. It is used for giving treatment directly into a vein for my chemotherapy, administration of intravenous fluids, for my blood transfusion and for taking blood samples. The benefit of this thing is that it will save me the discomfort of having needles repeatedly inserted into my veins. I hate needles really. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

The procedure actually started with a lot of x-rays in my neck and chest. When the vein has been identified, the line was then fitted. The procedure lasted for less than 30 minutes. Of course, it was done with a local anaesthetic and some intravenous sedatives. The line actually enters a vein in my neck (my collar bone) and exits from my upper chest. It was inserted through a tunnel in my skin. There were tingling sensations and pinches of pain during the procedure. It was very uncomfortable and I got four stitches after the incision. Keeping my “dangling line” in place is a stitch placed around the catheter. I was told that the stitch will remain there until the normal tissues has grown enough to hold the line naturally. Also, I was informed that there’s a small cuff in the tunnel which supports the tube.

I had four chemo sessions already using the reinstalled line. And as expected I was wasted, nauseous and exhausted. The day after my second chemo I’ve spiked a fever and was given a liquid paracetamol. When I woke up the next day, my temp went down from 101.2 to 98.5. Thank God.

Just a while ago, I was told that my “precious” Hickman line is due for flushing and cleaning with saline and heparin anytime this week so as to prevent it from being blocked by blood clots and also to avoid contamination. The nurse also told me that they will teach me how to clean it so that I can do the cleaning when I go home. Yahoo!

My oncologist told me that this “thing hanging on my chest” will now become my constant companion and best friend and I better give it a name so that our “bonding” will become more personal. Okay then, so from now on, my hickman line will be called “Hickie”. Ha ha ha.

I’m still up for more chemo sessions the coming days and I’m praying and keeping my faith that God will continuously show His face upon me and that He will help me get pass through it. Bless God!

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together

Since the day that we met girl
I’ve never had anyone make me feel this way
And my heart is sure it wants to be with you
Want to give you the whole world ohh
If you make the promise to me, I’m gonna stay
Without you guiding me, I’m lost and so confused

What will it take to show you I’ll be by your side
Cause I got you and I want to give you what you never had
Girl everyday I hope to make you part of my life
Cause you know me and I know you
Girl your love is where it’s at..ohhh

I’m gonna be the love that’s gonna last
And be the one that got your back
And nothing never that bad
That we would be together
And we both made a mistake
And something never wished we made
But we will be okay if we just stay together

Oooh..I know he left you stranded
And you paid the price when you messed up your life
Girl I know you’re so afraid but I can’t write the wrong cd
I know you saw the lipstick on my window
And wonder how many chicks been to my home
I done my share of playing games
But for you I given up that life

What will it take to show you I’ll be by your side

Cause I got you and I want to give you what you never had
Girl everyday I hope to make you part of my life
Cause you know me and I know you
Girl your love is where it’s at..ohhh

I’m gonna be the love that’s gonna last
And be the one that got your back
And nothing never that bad
That we would be together
And we both made a mistake
And something never wished we made
But we will be okay if we just stay together

Baby you’re the one I’m waiting for
Because you give me what I needed more
Cause its clear that we are meant to be
Together we should be together
Eternally..Ooohh
And I’m gonna be

I’m gonna be the love that’s gonna last
And be the one that got your back
And nothing never that bad
That we would be together
And we both made a mistake
And something never wished we made
But we will be okay if we just stay together

I’m gonna be the love that’s gonna last
And be the one that got your back
And nothing never that bad
That we would be together
And we both made a mistake
And something never wished we made
But we will be okay if we just stay together

                                    together/ne-yo

i know we will be together soon…i can’t wait…i’m holding on….mahal kita!

(video by: ginarhhx33zhim)

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how do i look now?

less hair, a little disfigured but still looking very human…..what do you think?

 

 

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when will this end?

email-dsc_0512.jpg

i’m getting tired of having “needles” for breakfast 😦

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