when the oncologist walked into my room three days after my bone marrow biopsy, i told myself “this is the moment“. i tried showing a brave face as i felt the sudden surge of emotions but i guess i’m really not good in acting. after the usual pleasantries he finally opened a brown envelope and read through the results of the biopsy.
i’m on partial remission——meaning the stubborn leukemia finally responded to the chemotherapy but it did not disappear completely with the treatment. (this leukemia must have fallen in love with me and doesn’t want to leave. ha ha ha. silly thought!)
the doctor said my suppressed marrow function is beginning to return to normal but in a very slow rate. this was also confirmed by the latest results of my cbc and reticulocyte count which were used to evaluate cell production in my marrow. he told me that treatment via radiation therapy plus oral medication will continue so that complete remission can be achieved.
initially, i was disappointed with the result as i was expecting complete remission. the feeling of uncertainty went back to me and consumed me. but when the night came, i found myself talking to God, asking Him “what are you trying to tell me Lord?”, “what do you want me to learn from this new development?“. i asked Him to give me His peace and to hug me as I embark on my journey to radiation oncology.
i already had two sessions of radiation therapy and will have five more the coming days. i’m actually on “break” right now. i personally asked for it as i want to spend the holidays with my loved ones “radiation free”.
i’m keeping my hopes high, trusting Him and letting Him do His will on me. i know that He will complete His work and I’m holding on to His promise that “He will never leave me nor forsake me”.
I then remembered I Thessalonians 5:18 that says “Give thanks in all circumstances….” and i just felt that this is what He wants me to do—to continue thanking Him inspite of all the painful things coming my way and He wants me to look around and appreciate the beauty of life. there are indeed countless reasons to thank Him for His love and faithfullness. i thank Him for the gift of life, the gift of time, the gift of love, the gift of family, the gift of friends—–the list could go on and on—–mercies that will never come to an end.
again, i want to thank the people who journeyed with me and prayed for me. i want to send my warm hugs of appreciation to my family, my children, my best buddies, friends, classmates, aunts, uncles, cousins, other relatives, family friends, online friends and those who’ve just chanced upon my blog and offered prayers, online strangers and “you” (wink!) thank you very much.
my journey from brokenman to betterman continues………please journey with me.
a belated merry christmas and a blessed new year to all!
B-R-O-K-E-N-M-A-N 
