Archive for Abril, 2007

gift

a cousin sent me a package with these items:

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thanks ate rina, regards to everyone there in vancouver! don’t worry, i’m fighting…for life, for the family, for myself, for her (wink! yes, sya pa rin dito sa puso ko)…God bless. 

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surviving

last monday, i woke up with a fever and my nose was bleeding. i was rushed to the hospital and after my cbc, i was told i had neutropenia, or low white blood cell count, a common side effect of chemotherapy. i felt bad because this could only mean that my immune system is still weak and there’s a risk to develop more infection. actually, aside from the fever, i had malaise plus cough and colds. i was admitted. the doctors administered antibiotics and white blood cell boosters through IV and i fell asleep in the middle of the treatment. i was discharge a day after and was advised to continue taking steroids 😦  there was an improvement in the wbc count though, thank God.  i just hope that this fever will go away soon.

my friends were asking why i’m taking steroids? well, i asked the same question to my oncologist and as far as i can recall this is  what she told me: as part of my treatment, steroids can prevent sickness caused by chemotherapy. some cancer respond better if steroids is taken along with the chemotherapy. the doctor pointed out that i will only have them for a few days at a time. steroids is an anti-inflammatory drug too,  i was told.

what i don’t really like about steroids is the side effects. i’m having difficulty sleeping and i often feel this heavy feeling in my stomach close to having indigestion. everytime i have the steroids injected i feel this strange tingling itching sensation. one more thing, i can feel my face muscles swelling as if i’m gaining weight 😦

there will be more tests for this week and then i’ll have a 2-day break before the next session. i’m glad that i’m able to cope up with it. thank you for all your prayers. it means a lot really.

thank you Lord for your unfailing love. where would i be without You?  

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happy food

got this from yahoo health.

Top Ten Happy Foods – bon apetit!

1. Wild salmon (rich in omega 3 fats and vitamin D)

2. Spinach – (rich in folic acid and soluble fiber)

3. Skim milk – (rich in Vitamin D and B12)

4. Ground flaxseeds (rich soluble fiber, omega 3 fats and folic acid)

5. Blackberries (rich in soluble fiber and folic acid)

6. Omega 3 fortified eggs – (rich in omega 3 fats, Vitamin D and B12)

7. Sardines ( rich in omega 3 fats and Vitamin D)

8. Soybeans – (rich in soluble fiber, folic acid and omega 3 fats)

9. Beans (rich in soluble fiber and folic acid)

10. Brussels sprouts (soluble fiber and folic acid)

Plus an extra for good luck!

11. Sunflower seeds – (rich in soluble fiber and folic acid)

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Psalm 23

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“The LORD is my shepherd, i shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures and He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul. He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name sake.

Even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i fear no evil for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff they comfort me. You have prepared a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You have annointed my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and i will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”   Psalm 23

we were on our way to the hospital this morning for my liver function test (LFT) when mommy saw me looking “gloomy” at the backseat of my crv. she sat beside me and held my hand. no words, but i felt her love, comforting me. then she got her Bible from her bag and read Psalm 23 to me. suddenly, i felt a different kind of “peace” within. i hugged her and we prayed together.

thank you Lord for Your words–for the assurance and for the comfort that it brings—and thank you for my Mommy…she’s my “heaven on earth”.

i’m halfway through my tests…i’m determined to finish it as soon as i can so i can have a few more days “free”..i want to spend it with “her”…we badly need to talk..clear things…fix things, hopefully. i really want to be with her. this separation is too much…exxag (as she always say to me “exxag na to eh..exxag na!) meaning exaggerated 🙂  and i cant help but agree.

i just want to say thank you so much to those who are praying for me. (some of them are “newly found friends” here at wordpress and in the “leukemia circle”). it really means a lot to me and to my family. God bless.

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this is how i feel today

i woke up with a heavy feeling (missing her, aching nape and weak knees). then, this is the first “song” that entered my head and i couldn’t seem to get over it. i’ve already made a post of this song here  which was actually a “repost” from my friendster blog, but what a heck, this is how i feel now.

she’s right, this pain won’t go away, unless we see each other, talk things out and then take it from there. i have to admit, a part of me is still hoping that we will go for the “fixing” rather than “closing” but i realize i shouldn’t be expecting that much. i’ve been into so much pain already and somehow i know she is too. i guess we’ll just have to go with the flow. but for whatever it takes, i know nothing will change within me..i will still love her…so much!

“take care po. iniisip kita. minamahal kita. hugmaon kita”

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hope

i hope she’ll see me as someone….whom he can trust again…whom she can love again… who can be there for her….who can be her friend…who will take care of her….who is willing to “jump”, “dance” and “sing” with her….who will love her no matter what….

Not just an ex-boyfriend….not just someone in her past…not just Mr. Boyfriend #3… .not just someone that she used to love.

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convertxtion 041807

me: nagdinner ka na po?

her: di pa po 😦 kaw?

me: di pa din. di makakain. sana..sana..may oatmeal

her: 😦 kawawa ka naman. ako may oatmeal 🙂

me: puwede humingi?

her: ha ha. sige po

me: you are killing me with your kindness

her: dont want to be a killer po

me: please wait for the pizza

her: yipee! and you are killing me too

her: oo ba. love ko spiderman. pizzasarap! thanks (i think this is a response to my previous entry!)

me: thanks. you want sa imax tayo manood? usap tayo pagpunta ko dyan ha. can’t wait. kain kang mabuti. mahal kita.

her: yes to all 🙂

me: matutulog ka na po?

her: opo! a blessed night to you!

me: okay. good night! mahal kita! take care!

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