Archive for Pebrero, 2008

answered prayer

today, i finally got the result of my spinal tap.

after analyzing and comparing the blast cells on my latest spinal tap from the blast cells of my original bone marrow biopsy, the pathologist concluded that they look very different from the leukemic blast cells in the original biopsy and that the blast cells were normal immature cells.

my “early cell count” was only 4% and she said that anything below 5% is considered normal. so technically i’m in remission! yahooo!!!!  

i’ll be out of the hospital next week for my much needed rest and then i’ll go back to consolidation therapy after 1 month. the oncologist said that i can take the therapy as an out-patient and it will be for 2 months. if all goes well then we will proceed with the bone marrow transplant by mid-May.

i’m much overwhelmed by God’s great love for me. words are inadequate to describe the joy within me. thank you to my family for the unconditional love, my relatives, my doctors, nurses, friends, online friends and strangers who prayed for me and journeyed with me. thank you so much. He answered our prayers.

to my Lord and Savior, my Redeemer and Healer,  Jesus Christ, You are awesome! i worship You for who You are. thank you for Your faithfulness, thank you for Your Great love. I am in awe of You!

the journey from brokenman to betterman continues…….

standing here in Your presence, thinking of the good things You have done. waiting here patiently, just to hear the still small voice again

Holy, Righteous, Faithful ’till the end. Savior, Healer, Redeemer and Friend

I will worship You for who You are. I will worship You for who You are. I will worship You for who You are Jesus

My soul’s secure, Your promises’ sure. Your love endures always

I will worship You for who You are. I will worship You for who You are. I will worship You for who You are Jesus         

                     for who you are/hillsong australia

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you

picture-103.jpg

I never felt alone
I was happy on my own
And who would ever know there was something missing
I guess I didn’t see the possibility
It was waiting all the time
But it never crossed my mind
Till you opened up my eyes
Now all I think about is

You in my life
In my dreams
In my heart I know it’s true
That I belong with you
Because of you in my world
In my arms
I have everything and now
I can’t imagine what I’d do
Without you

I never thought that love could be
Such a curiosity
But what attracted you to me
Was so unexpected
But it was waiting all the time
And it never crossed my mind
Until you opened up my eyes
Now all I think about is

You In my life
In my dreams
In my heart I know it’s true
That I belong with you
Because of you in my world
In my arms
I have everything and now
I can’t imagine what I’d do
I can’t imagine what I’d do
Without you
Without you

you/jim brickman and tara maclean

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the waiting continues

i was supposed to get the result of my spinal tap yesterday but a few hours before my scheduled appointment, my oncologist  called and he told me that the pathologist still hasn’t reach a conclusive and definitive findings as to whether the blast cells found in the sample are normal immature white cells or abnormal or leukemic cells. my doctor said the pathologist requested that she be given  some of the slides from my original bone marrow biopsy for comparison and analysis. looks like i have to wait for two more days.  😦

i was told that if the test would remain inconclusive i have no other choice but to repeat the spinal tap. or if the pathologist will eventually conclude that the cells are indeed leukemic cells then there’s an immediate need for me to undergo a more extensive chemo, 3 days per week for 3 months and then depending on the progress, i’ll undergo stem cell transplant which will be my last resort. but the thing is: my oncologist is worried that my frail body would not be able to withstand another round of extensive chemo since i had 3 chemo sessions already. he’s afraid that my organs would not be able to take the repercussions and eventually they would fail and kill me. on the other hand, if i don’t undergo another round of chemo (assuming i still have leukemic cells), i won’t last longer than a year. this is so depressing.

on the lighter side, if the pathologist concludes that the blast cells were normal immature white cells it means i don’t have leukemic cells anymore and i will be in remission. i will then undergo a month of consolidation therapy to prepare me for the stem cell transplant.

i don’t know what to feel right now. my head is full of “what if’s”. i know He holds my life in His hand and i just have to accept His will and trust His plans for me, but then, this is easier said than done. nevertheless, I will keep on trusting Him and will continue to wait on Him. i know He will carry me through, He will not leave me nor forsake me.

thank you for your unconditional love Lord. Your love keeps me sane.

You are forever in my life
You see me through the seasons
Cover me with Your hand
And lead me in Your righteousness

And I look to You
And I wait on You

I will sing to You, Lord
A hymn of love
For Your faithfulness to me
I’m carried in everlasting arms
You’ll never let me go
Through it all

Hallelujah, hallelujah

through it all/hillsong

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a song and a prayer

I’ll Worship at Your Throne
Whisper my own love song
With all my heart I’ll sing
For You my Dad and King
I’ll live for all my days
To Put a smile on Your face
And when we finally meet
It’ll be for eternity

And Oh how wide You open up Your arms
When I need Your love
And how far You would come
If ever I was lost
And You said that all You feel for me
Is undying love
That You showed me through the cross

I’ll worship You my God
I’ll worship You my God
I love You
I love You
Forever I will sing
Forever I will be with You
Be with You

                          forever/hillsong

Father God, today, Your will for me will be revealed. Lord, teach me to accept it with all my heart. Please strengthen my faith as I hold on to the truth that Your ways are higher than mine and that You love me and You know what’s best for me. teach me to thank You in all circumstances. have Your way in me Lord. all the glory, honor and praise be unto You alone!

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salamat gotpinoy.com

it was january 30, 2008 when i got this email from gotpinoy.com

Congratulations Lex,

Thank you for your continuous support of Philippine Blog Contest from
GotPinoy.com. We’ve chosen your blog
https://brokenman.wordpress.com to reward as our January Winner of
1,000.00 Pesos Gift Certificate for our Monthly Giveaway Prize.
Please confirm your name, address, and phone so we can process
your prize.

my first reaction was “is this real? hmm… could be a hoax”. a few days after i got another email saying the same thing and then some sms’ and offlines from a certain “oliver david” of gotpinoy.com.

i was able to talk with him thrice (online)  and there was even a time when he got pissed off with my endless questions that he resorted to saying “its okay lex, if you have doubts, we can just give the prize to another blogger” 🙂

so to make the long story short, i’ve decided to make the necessary confirmation and the gift certificate, SM Gold worth P1,000, was then delivered through myAyala.com.

so to gotpinoy.com and oliver david, thank you for “randomly” picking my blog. i became a thousand peso richer 🙂 yipee!!

and thanks to “you” for the picture. wanna go shopping with me? 🙂 we could eat siomai and chicken after. he he he.

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the longing

i long for someone who will…….. 

  • share with me the events of each day, the pleasures of each night
  • walk with me through the seasons, talk with me through all that life may bring our way
  • travel with me to the places of our dreams
  • be with me until i breathe my last
  • will take care good care of me 
  • will allow me to take good care of her
  • who will love me inspite of my condition
  • who will look into my eyes as she answers the question at the video below 🙂 wink! wink!

happy valentine’s day!

oh baby

i found the nerve to try again. some broken hearts given time will mend. will you be gentle if i surrender all to you, to you.

please understand that i’ve got to be sure. the lessons i’ve learned i can’t ignore. will you be gentle if i surrender all to you, to you

take good care of me ‘coz my heart’s a tender thing, oh yeah. take good care of me ‘coz this heart knows so much pain and could never have it hurting again. so take good care of me, of me

don’t get me wrong ‘coz i really care.but a shadow of doubt has always been there. please reassure me, hold me and kiss my fears away, my fears away

somethin’ tells me it’s right this time. it took a little while but i made up my mind. please reassure me that we’ll be together come what may, come what may

take good care of me ‘coz my heart’s a tender thing, oh yeah. take good care of me ‘coz this heart knows so much pain and could never have it hurting again. so take good care of me

i know forever’s never promise to anyone, so if we can’t wait forever, i’ll take what i can get ‘coz baby you’re the best thing that ever happened to me yet

oh baby, so if we can’t wait forever, i’ll take what i can get ‘coz baby you’re the best thing that ever happened to me yet, oh

take good care of me ‘coz my heart’s a tender thing, oh yeah. take good care of me ‘coz this heart knows so much pain and could never have it hurting again. so take…

oh darling, you got my heart in your hands this time….

baby…..i’ll give to you all of me baby….

                  take good care of me/jonathan butler

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each day with you

 

Flowers for you, on this lovely evening
Though they have no words they share my feelings
As we walk along the avenue
Pardon me,  I just can’t help staring at you

When I look into those sparkling eyes
I float in the air and wander in paradise
You give my heart a source of inspiration
Your beauty is beyond imagination

You are the one
The only one that I desire
When we touch
When we’re one you light the fire
The seasons we share
Hand in hand, there seems to be no time
Each day with you becomes a Valentine

Time must go on and so must we
Moments slip away but not the memories
One day as we look back with all this treasure
Candlelight that shines beyond forever

You are the one,
The only one that I desire
When we touch
When we’re one you light the fire
The seasons we share
Hand in hand, there seems to be no time
Each day with you becomes a Valentine

Your beauty is beyond imagination

You are the one,
The only one that I desire
When we touch
When we’re one you light the fire
The seasons we share
Hand in hand, there seems to be no time
Each day with you becomes a Valentine

You are the one,
The only one that I desire
When we touch
When we’re one you light the fire
The seasons we share
Hand in hand, there seems to be no time
Each day with you becomes a Valentine

                           each day with you/martin nievera

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