B-R-O-K-E-N-M-A-N

(20 may 2007) 

yes i am. still on my wheelchair. tried walking this morning, some small slow steps but had to stop because of leg pains. there were some progress though, hopefully, tomorrow, i will be standing  on my own two feet again.

i got my 2D echo results yesterday and my cardiologist said my heart is okay (well, its broken right now, he didnt see that).

nice, my daughter, visited me and we had lunch together. she told me that her enrollment will start on the 23rd of this month.(i hope that’s not the main reason for the visit). she brought me some green apples and siniguelas. thanks baby!

hey, i want to say thank you to those who sent their emails and e-cards wishing me well on my treatment. thank you so much. i didn’t know i could get a support group by just blogging. wow. this means a lot to me. thanks again.

my new henlin kiosk is opening soon at trinoma mall in north avenue corner edsa in quezon city (near sm city north edsa). i thought i wouldn’t get the slot because of some “internal requirements” but i guess the slot is really meant for me. i’m really praying that it would do well.

i’m trying my luck in franchising for hernz ice cream and negotiations are under way. i just hope it won’t bog down this time. i had this not-so-good experience dealing with some people from another ice cream brand and i  called the deal off.

its almost 12am. she’s on my mind again. 😦  how can i stop thinking of you? i’m sure you are sleeping right now, good night, i still love you.

as much as i want to be an out-patient after my chemo session, i had to be admitted for one day due to fluctuating blood pressure and malaise. i’m home now.finally.

i’m still on a wheelchair though. still feeling weak and i’m unable to move that much. i’ve been vomiting since this morning  and i only had a glass of ensure and a piece of banana for lunch. i tried eating “goto” when i woke up but my taste buds were not cooperating. 😦 its either the food taste bitter or bland.

majority of my test results were okay and my doctors assured me that some of the anomalies are manageable. thank God because i was given a period of rest before the last chemo session for “option A” so as to give time for my body to regain strength and to replace healthy cells that were lost during the treatment. i was told that my cell count may actually return to normal long before the cells are working at full capacity.

and since i’m so vulnerable to infection, i was asked to take the  following precautions:

• always wash hands with anti-bacterial soap (they recommend safeguard, i wonder, do they have an “x-deal” here?) and plenty of water because many infections are transmitted through the hands.
• avoid people with colds and flu
• as much as possible, avoid large crowds to reduce the likelihood of coming into contact with sick people
• bathe daily
• take steps to prevent cuts or scrapes because open wounds can become entry points for infection
• prevent cracks in the skin by using a hypo allergenic lotion (i’m using a lotion that says it has virgin coconut oil)
• be proactive

a while ago, an uncle called up and asked about the progress of my treatment. i said i’m surviving and coping with it. but after the usual pleasantries, he asked me about my “sex life”. “zero po eh” my reply. he was worried coz the medication might affect the “winning performance”  🙂 but i said i’ve had some tests after the first phase and my sperm count is still okay. and of course, the “thing” is still standing and capable. 🙂  🙂

i want to say thank you to those who are praying for me. i really thank God because there are people helping me—–emotionally, spiritually, morally and financially with this battle. i couldn’t thank all of you enough.

tomorrow..well..another day of battle. i hope there’ll be less throwing up and i could eat more. been craving for sinigang na shrimp and patola soup. yum yum

i hope i’ll get more sleep tonight. please continue to pray for me guys. God bless.

thank you my good LORD for being there for me always. You are awesome!

today, the 15th of May, is the continuance of my chemo session. my oncologist, dr. dy, told me yesterday that they will be reducing the dosage of anthracycline but they will be adding thioguanine, a third medication.

my treatment is still at the “remission induction” therapy stage and i’m praying that i would be able to have remission after the last session. i usually stay at the hospital after the treatment because i always develop infection the next day. (my doctors said its a normal thing since chemotherapy destroys many normal blood cells in the process of killing the leukemia cells),  but i’m praying that this time, i would be able to cope up with it and be an out-patient. i still have my neupogen with me, though (a medication that boost white cell production).

i’m coping, yes, surviving and i want to thank my family, friends and my newly-found friends for praying for me and for encouraging me to go on and fight. it really means a lot to me and to my family.

its about time that i take care of myself. my doctor is right, chemo and leukemia should not take the best of who i am. so, hopefully, next week, i could go back to playing golf with my buddies. 🙂

today..a new day…a new beginning….a renewed hope…thank GOD!